In any case, ENJOY!
They also fight like two nasty brats sometimes… “How dare you tell me to get over it” and “I don’t care what YOU do, I’m gettin’ off here!” kinda stuff. They do this very quietly. I only ever heard them because they sat behind me a few times on the way home from work.
But what I’m sure of is that they love each other.
The sleeping is heaven and the fighting is hell and in between is all the cleaning house and making meals and playing video games….and criticizing each other’s video game playing…and getting that tingle in the pit of yourself when a random thought brings their face up on the HUD of your mind like a common destination on each Quest to slay that next Big Bad Boss.
So. With Valentine’s Day nearing I present to you all a symbol of what it really means to me.
INSTEAD they did get a balloon to bounce the delicate, painstakingly prepared equipment around an outback (not Outback) parking lot from atop a 40 foot well…. ladder….basically…and destroy years of work by loving and dedicated scientists who probably want to strap themselves into the next balloon ride.
I ask you, gentle reader, why not just hook it up to Cletus’s pick-up truck in Tennessee somewhere and attach a kite to one end of it and hope that will work?!
Billions of our tax dollars for this waste of time and dedication and work!
You’re all fired!!! From the guy who gassed the car of the guy who unlocked the doors that morning in Alice Springs to some researcher who said, “Yeah! That’d be NEAT!”
Masai Moon Goddess Olapa Answers Prayers! Swings a crew of 3 Masai from Kenya into orbit around Mars!
So with bated breath I awaited Final Fantasy XIII. And because of reviews, I played through 45 hours to get to “the good part”. Alas, I forgot “the good part” was deemed so by fat, home-working couch-potato slackerheads who’re all virgins and smelly.
The difficulty seemed to LEAP over the moon…and YES, I had leveled all my characters and upgraded my weapons and accessories. I’d been kicking butt or at least been able to manage my battles but no more. It didn’t even seem like the same game anymore! PLUS…I’m supposed to RELAX not get PISSED-OFF!
I only have a few hours a week to play…not a few hours a DAY.
So if I am dying over and over during the hour I get to play then I have made zero progress and I consider THAT a wasted hour. A wasted wasted hour!
I play for FUN. If I’m not having FUN then it’s time to stop.
Thank goodness for Gamestop! I’ll just carry this game around now in my man-bag until I’m near the store again and trade it for something more playable…I hope.
Y’know what USED to be fun? Here’s my list of most fun games on whatever system:
All 3D graphics Zelda from Ocarina through Windwaker (brilliantly calibrated difficulty, awesome play)
Metroid Prime and Echoes (immersive and beautiful)
Final Fantasy XII (Brilliant battle system and leveling)
Conker’s Bad Fur Day (toilet humor and great game play!!!)
Okami (Zelda meets RPG also gorgeous in every way)
Viewtiful Joe (side-scrolling BRILLIANCE!)
Resident Evil remastered, Zero and 4 (Creepy atmo and great play)
God of War I & II (Great graphics and music, mostly great gameplay)
Wario World (fun platformer withOUT Mario!)
Sphinx (great music and graphics, fun gameplay)
Luigi’s Mansion (silly ghost vacuuming game but great design)
Uncharted (insanely well made and fun!!!!)
Warhawk (steep learning curve but very fun because u can stay away from the online douche-bags by running your own server!)
InFamous (awesome sandbox with rewarding Trophy-Ho potential)
Zen Pinball (It’s PINBALL!)
Super Stardust HD (zoning out is easy!)
Little Big Planet (RIDICULOUS FUN)
Devil May Cry 4 (button mashing glee)
That’s not a lot of games over the years.
My reject list includes:
Ninja Gaiden Sigma (first boss difficulty is stupidly hard)
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (online douche-bags)
Prince of Persia (PS3) (remedial and boring)
Battlefield 1943 (online douche-bags)
Borderlands (VERY repetitive and boring)
I think some people SAY they like a game because it’s the game to like. But I’m not 14 any more, I just wanna FEEL like it.
And NOW John Stossel wants businesses to be free to discriminate based on race. He won’t go to them but he wants them free to choose. Why stop there? I want rampant sex and nudity and NO restrictions on language on public airwaves then too! And bigamy should be legal! The law of the land should just be “If you don’t want to then don’t do it and don’t complain and don’t infringe and don’t Drive 55!” Now I’m off to have a wank on the subway platform. Don’t like it? Don’t fuckin’ look. [Be aware: the preceding was extreme sarcasm.]
Death and The Cling Peaches November 5, 2010
On November 6th 1971 I was recently eight-years-old and living with my first cousins, once removed, Bea and Nook Malone in Indianapolis, IN. They were my parent’s age so I called them aunt and uncle but in truth my father was raised with his cousin Nook in Terre Haute. He was probably placed with Aunt Lottie, my grandmother Fanny’s sister, because she couldn’t handle raising twins.
My dad was Ottie Herman and his identical twin brother was Offie Sherman.
By this point I’d stayed with Nook and Bea for several months off and on and for a few different reasons. Initially I went to stay during that Summer because my mother had had another relapse into uncontrolled paranoid schizophrenia and was back in The Seven Gables at Central State Hospital. My father wasn’t capable of taking care of me and working. Not if he wanted to get drunk every night, I guess.
It was during this time that the infamous “favorite shirt” incident occurred.
My dad brought mom over to see me on a furlough from the mental hospital. She brought me a painting she made in therapy. She was a passable artist and the picture she made for me of a tree was very nice. But I digress…
I was excited to get to see my parents again so I put on my favorite new shirt that Bea had bought me. It was a long sleeved red shirt with a longish collar and a black diamond pattern sewn into it. It was a great shirt, I thought! As I came down the stairs there were my parents! Sitting on the couch together. I was so happy to see my mother. A seven-year-old boy can only go so long without his mommy! But before I made it down to the foot of the stairs my father chimed in with, “Where the hell’d you get that nigger shirt from?!”
I don’t remember anything else from that visit really. I know my mom showed me her art-work and I got lots of hugs. From her.
Eventually she was discharged and deemed fit to go on out-patient therapy so home I went as well.
Then my dad got sick. Doctor said pneumonia. He couldn’t work for months and sat eating soup and coughing uncontrollably until just before Halloween 1971 when my brother Chris took him to the hospital. I remember him waving bye at the back door. And back I went to Nook and Bea’s.
Man did I LOVE Nook and Bea’s! My cousin Kitty Sue was only five but I don’t remember thinking, “She’s such a BABY!” or anything like that. We played together well. Living there was like being at a hippie commune with Vicky and her husband living in a trailer on the back of the property. Lots of peace signs and black light posters and brownies. GOD VICKY’S BROWNIES! The best I’ve had even to this day, and NO they weren’t pot brownies! I have SO many stories I could tell but I’ll stick to my point.
Eventually on November 6th, which was the day of the first snow that year, Aunt Bea told me I’d be going home. I was a little disappointed because I was going to have to play all alone again but it’d be easier to get to school and stuff. Besides, I was used to bouncing around at this point.Then there were some odd occurrences.
Aunt Bea filled my little suitcase with candy! I liked that idea! She didn’t give the candy to me or explain it, I just noticed it when she was packing me. The other thing I remember vividly from the perspective of an eight-year-old is over-hearing a conversation between Aunt Bea and Uncle Nook about a funeral as they towered over me. They completely ignored my question, “Who died?”. But that was OK, I just shrugged and went on playing.
My cousin who drove me home and I were about a block away from my house when I realized something with certainty and I would have asked out loud the question bonging in my head like a gong but I also thought it would freak her out: “He’s dead isn’t he?” The “he” being my daddy.
When I got home to a little house full of people everyone braced themselves and my mother told me as she stood in the kitchen door and I stood in the front room, “Keith, your dad passed away this morning at 6AM”. (Pneumonia had proven to be cancer.) And then I crawled into my brother Chris’s lap as he sat in Dad’s chair and cried for about five or ten minutes. And that was the only time I cried about it.
All In The Family was on that night, first run. It was the episode entitled Edith’s Accident when she loses control of a shopping cart full of cans of cling peaches and it crashes into the car of a Catholic Priest. And there was Archie shouting his bigoted beliefs for all the world to see.
Many in the house that night laughed in the recognition that my dad had been just like Archie Bunker. And he had been. But Archie’s only funny because the rest of the show can counter him.
My dad wasn’t actually very funny. He was just a sad, angry, scared Irish-American drunk. He didn’t do either of my older brothers any favors as a father and he was about to not do me any too. I’m sad that his life was such a bitter disappointment to him. I wish there was some way to know why, because his cousin Nook was his opposite in about every way. A kind, big-hearted bear of a man.
Anyway, here I am on the eve of the 39th anniversary of my father’s death. I am glad he died when he did. I was just old enough to know, looking back, why I was relieved instead of sad. I am 47 years old now. I am a mere six years away from being the same age he was when he died. My perspective on him is changing again. But it’s not changing the truth. He was a rotten father. I mean, ROTTEN.
Goal Schmoal! October 6, 2010
From the Children’s Miracle Network site:
This year alone, Children’s Miracle Network hospitals will provide charity care worth billions, yet these children’s hospitals depend on community support to help fund their vital services.
To ensure children’s hospitals have the resources they need, Children’s Miracle Network’s partners conduct thousands of special events and grassroots fundraisers year-round. Corporate partners sell Miracle Balloons, radio and television stations broadcast stories of medical miracles, and college students hold Dance Marathons—just a few of the programs generating millions of dollars each year to provide the life-saving care and crucial services kids need.
The Extra Life gaming marathon I’m participating in is one of those fundraisers!
It’s also important to note that funds raised also go to research in areas like pediatric AIDS and cancer.
The basic monetary goal for every Extra Life participant is $96. Just $24 from 4 people. I thought that was a really low number so I decided to try for 10 people and a goal of $240. I have received donations from 8 people totaling $303!Those awesome people are:
Alex Raskin, Film Director
Merry Pettyjohn, Microsoft Brainiac (and my first girlfriend!)
Paul (Pablito) Richardson, bon vivant and fund raising swapper (I sponsored his AIDS Walk and he my Extra Life!)
Eric Lanpher, My nephew (25% same DNA!)
Soroj Hansraj, co-worker
Chandra Frank, Florida’s ass-kickin’ babe!
Robert Finnerty, Red Dwarf aficionado
Melanie Hauser, high school pal, wife, mother and sometimes she scribbles a large number of words and sells them.
Goals are nice. They give focus. But goals don’t give meaning.
Donate now because you can. Donate now because if you need these services someday they’ll be there for YOU as well.
But don’t hold back because I’ve met MY little goal. Don’t think, “Well….job done”.
Donate now because it’s not much money but it’s necessary!
My Extra Life participation will be 8am to 8pm on both Saturday and Sunday, October 16th and 17th. Got a PS3??? Send a friend invite to: son_of_ottie and we can play online together in Little Big Planet, Killzone 2, blur, GT5p, Borderlands, Red Dead Redemption, Warhawk, Zen Pinball (with video chat), PAIN, Bioshock 2 or Spit In The Can….which I just made up. (Also MAYBE MAG and Mod Nation Racers)
I also plan to ustream my Saturday participation….which AIN’T gonna be pretty.
[LINK REMOVED AFTER EVENT]
(Addendum: I raised nearly $650.00! THANKS ALL!)
(For those who don’t know, Crispin Glover sends me an email annually regarding being booked into a Jersey City movie palace because a few years ago I emailed him to tell him this place existed and it’d be a great place for him to screen his own films. Films for which he has both directed and starred. Somehow he got the idea I had anything to do with booking him. And I can’t make him stop.)
My Email To Loews For Crispin Glover September 30, 2010
Dear Loews Folks,
I am forwarding this email on to you.
As you may be aware, Crispin Glover has been making the rounds of art houses and the like for a few years now to screen his personal film projects.
If you find you are so inclined you may contact him via the info included.
He and his films, those he personally wrote and directed starring himself and actors who have Down’s syndrome, always attract attention and good will.
I am involved only insofar as I wrote telling him of your amazing facility.
I live in hope that you will now contact him personally with an aye or nay or some further negotiations regarding any possible booking at the remarkable Loews Jersey City.
Mr. Glover is always eager to share his work and now abides on tenterhooks in anticipation of your reply.
Looking forward to my next visit to your historic movie palace,
Keith Patrick Dunn
Union City, NJ
The Truth About Arts Awards
or Don’t Let The Bastards Ruin You September 21, 2010
WAY back in 1983 I played the role of Chuck Baxter in Promises, Promises at a community theatre in Indianapolis, Indiana. I was quite young and it was my first leading role outside the comfort of children’s theatre, which for me began with a leading role and was followed in high school by more leading roles. This was not my first time at the rodeo.
I auditioned for the part. The audition pianist, the late and very great Jean Cones, was a friend of mine and a great comfort to have at the piano that night. Short story short, I got the part.
I kinda thought I would because so much of Chuck’s speech pattern and attitude were similar to my own. I understood the humor and rythm of the piece right away and so apart from the basic blocking, the director, the never-to-be-late and always, mostly, awesome Ron Spencer didn’t give me any direction. He never gave me one piece of acting direction and some of the numbers he told me to just do. So I did.
Then came the Encore Award nominations. I received a preliminary nod…yeah, everyone does…but then no actual nomination. And when I was so disappointed, I was told the reason I didn’t get a nomination was because the panel thought I had OBVIOUSLY mimicked EVERYTHING from Ron Spencer, the director, and had of course, being a lad of 19, not the depth of talent necessary to pull off a role like that! This I was told by someone I considered a friend, and still do, but friends can get away with so much with me.
I don’t know if it was worse coming from the grinning face of someone I trusted or the fact this person KNEW it to be untrue and didn’t stick up for me. But it still hurts. And then two years later I was finally nominated for an actual Encore Award for Best Actor in a Drama for playing the title role in The Elephant Man for Buck Creek Players!
I was SO excited. I had worked very hard on the posture, the accent with accompanying speech impediment and the character’s emotional core and vulnerablility. This was a more difficult role by far than Chuck Baxter had been but it was also very rewarding. I worked with an impeccable local cast and the directors, yes both of them and sisters, did a wonderful and heartfelt job. My overarching direction was “don’t ever get angry”. And I managed to pull that off…every time save for one when I turned to John Lampson’s Treves and asked heatedly, “WHY NOT?!?!” (oops) But it was in the moment and I recovered and that was that.
Something many people may not know or recall (or care about) is that I was a terrible hayfever sufferer then and this was Autumn. My nose ran non-stop the whole time the show was up. My Merrick had a handerkerchief on him at all times and used it frequently if clumsily.
Back to the point, I was up for the award against two men who were older and had a larger and more established reputation than my own. Deservedly so. They were truly wonderful actors who always gave as a good a performance you’d find on any Broadway stage or in any film you’d see. Their names are Brad Griffith and Don Barnes and they starred TOGETHER in a very techie K2. Now, K2 is a tech show no matter what with mountain climbing, repelling and an avalanche right before your very eyes. Still none of the tech took away from their brilliant performances.
And now come the awards. Clearly, my friend who blithely belittled me during award season would say, I couldn’t possibly win. Clearly the competition was better than I was. Clearly I was just Keith Dunn the short, slightly (then) overweight kid whose limited talent would soon show me to be no better than chorus material.
But I did win.
I won the award for Best Actor/Drama 1985 for the role of John Merrick, the title role in The Elephant man.
But HOW could THIS be?! Surely repelling down a styrofoam cliff takes more work than learning to stand on stage all crumpled up for 2 hours!
Well…it had to have been this: THEY CANCELED EACH OTHER OUT! Yes. She was certain I had won ONLY because they canceled each other out leaving little nobody ME in a position to win by a whole single vote. (Of course no evidence of this theory ever surfaced but if someone you trust sneers it at you enough in front of other people and then everyone spreads the rumor….it becomes fact.)
Now let’s say for argument there were 10 voters. If the other two actors got 3 votes each and I got 4 then I win with a minority of the total votes. But I still won. I STILL got to stand on a stage and thank people…and later go up and thank people when I accepted John’s award FOR him because he didn’t come…..hmmmm….seems like the whole show was celebrated that night. But I’m sure if that were the case then my win was a result of an Elephant Man FRENZY of emotional support. In the service of the sufferers of deformity everywhere.
Couldn’t POSSIBLY be because I deserved it. I couldn’t possibly have worked for it.
That was now almost precisely 25 years ago. And I am still diminished by the comments and attitudes of the people, my peers, who so methodically strove to make of me what they were; amateurs.
The award that I clearly won is in the hands of someone who didn’t have to endure the sniping and jibing about its validity and who therefore can be proud of me for winning it, my beloved older brother Chris.So here is the truth the title of this ramble promises: If you won it then you WON it. If people voted and you got the highest number of votes of ANY SINGLE PERSON then you won. And if anyone tries to take your joy from you then you let ’em have what’s coming to them. Be proud of yourself! And NEVER give control of your happiness to someone who, at the time, has none of their own and so will work day and night to be sure that YOU don’t have any as well.
Labor Day Teenaged Get-Away September 7, 2010
So…Carlos and I woke-up about 11am on Monday, Labor Day.
He made coffee. He sat at the computer and began to tinker and wrestle with iTunes and his iPod, like ya do if you don’t have a Mac. I took the chance to play my new favorite video game, blur, since we weren’t using the TV to catch-up on Supernatural Season 4 for a little while.
I leveled up in online multiplayer a few times. It’s much faster to do when you’ve leveled to 50 (Legend) once and know how to play. Then I went back into single player Career Mode and beat a couple of bosses and got a couple swanky cars for multiplayer use! At some point Carlos talked to his sister Lisa on the phone and I interjected comments while driving like the wind and shunting and being bolted….
For those who don’t know, peeing during LIVE, ONLINE PLAY is a nuisance. You gotta RUN during the 45 seconds between matches….same with soda refills! And it distracts from the obsessive mindset! Ugh.
Yeah so, he’s doin’ his thing on the computer and I’m playing and leveling and filling/emptying my bladder and then it’s 9:30 PM!Carlos spent the day doing what he loves…playing music and singing and talking with Lisa and being near me. I got to do what I love…playing video games compulsively and being near Carlos. We were like teens!And THEN we ordered Chinese food and watched the first 4 episodes of Supernatural before bedtime.
I Have Opinions About Everything August 27, 2010
blur Changed The Way I See Racing Games
Reviewed By: son_of_ottie Date: 8/27/2010 Favorite Category: Action
I am an open-minded gamer. I play every demo I can get my grubby paws on. But when it comes to racing games, I just don’t get it. “VROOOOOM!” , big deal, I always think. I mean, where’s the excitement in NASCAR circles or Indy car wall-bangin’? Where’s the challenge other than staying awake? So I was prepared to play the blur demo for about 2 minutes and then DELETE. Cut to me, a few days later, reaching the end of the 10 level demo. (I’m a busy guy. I didn’t get to play it through. OK?)I guess it was the cars which interested me to begin with. A crazy-wild variety of real cars from a beat-down drifty VW Beetle to the Megane Trophy hugging the surface of the Earth like smooth grass. Really FAST grass.In online multiplayer of up to 20 racers, customizations for cars come by racing a certain car a certain number of times and by winning. Cars and mods are earned by ranking-up.Ranking-up is earned through a variety of challenges so numerous as to include “Bullying II” and “Nitro Ramming” which earn extra “fans” speeding the rank-up process EVEN if you never win a race.The mods are equipped at the beginning of each race except hardcore which is a race-only, no power-ups mode. The mods can affect the effect of your power-ups and those of other’s who would dare slam you with their own. The power ups include shield, bolt, shunt, nitro and others. (I hope they’ll be coming at us with DLC for many more power-ups and mods! Can you imagine the MOO POWER-UP which drops a cow on the road? Well how about the MOO MELT MOD which makes the cow into a burger and adds health! I know…I’m a genius!) Back to reality….There are LOTS of courses varying from inner-city Brooklyn to London and Hollywood and the dust bowl with different ways to race in each course of each locale. The variety is fantastic because if you lose the online vote and have to race in less-than-your-favorite venue just GO FOR IT because it may thrill you anyway!And then there’s career mode!Bottom line about blur is the nature of variables makes every moment of gameplay different from the last and as exciting.A month ago if someone had told me I’d be on the road to racing game aficionado I’d have laughed in their face! But my opinions have been blurred!
Get it? Huh? See what I did there? See that?
WARNING: COARSE LANGUAGE August 5, 2010
I added my own thoughts on this bigot’s comments. They are in parentheses. And I didn’t hold back my language…you are warned.
“You’re stripping 7 million people of their right to vote,” said Brian Brown, of the National Organization for Marriage.
(ACTUALLY, the Mormon church and activists of the extremist “Christian” right wing used demonstrable lies in a fear and smear campaign to terrorize otherwise sane Americans into once again believing gays were all Catholic priests. Wait…that’s unfair…but basically accurate.They even cobbled together a recording of snippets from Obama making him seem to tell everyone to vote FOR Prop 8 and then robo-calling MILLIONS of people with it. Obama opposed Prop 8. So tell me you right-wing mother-fucker, how does THAT sit with Jesus Christ?)
Brown argues that Walker’s ruling assumes those 7 million people were driven by deep-seated bias and irrationality. (Nope. Fear…SEE ABOVE)
“They say we’re just like the Ku Klux Klan. (You fucking ARE. By definition, people who hate other people for reasons dealing solely with superficial issues like skin color or sexual orientation are sister-mother-brother-fucking bigots.) What they don’t get is Americans are overwhelmingly for traditional marriage,” Brown said. (Nope. Most Americans don’t give a shit what other Americans are doing. They wanna watch TV, fuck and eat.) “Those of us who believe marriage is a union between a man and a woman are going to be treated in law as if we’re bigots and deprived of our right to vote. That’s just not going to sit well.” (Justice never sits well for the wrong-doers…you lying cunt. If I were you I’d be worried about what your God is gonna say when you get to the Pearlie Gates because if you really believed in Hell you’d know yours is gonna be an eternity getting ass-fucked by Dan White in a Harvey Milk mask. Wait…you don’t believe in God…not really. If you did you’d KNOW better.)
I warned ya about the language.